OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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