other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
