People in love make me want to vomit
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
