I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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