dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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