He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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