Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
