I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
