i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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