Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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