Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
