I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize