In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
