We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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