Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
