ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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