Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
