Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
