Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
