Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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