I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
