She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
