Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
