I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
