I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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