watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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