Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
