Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
