You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
