I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i've created a new STD.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
