There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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