We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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