I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
