It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
