what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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