lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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