i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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