the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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