kristin has been a bad kristin
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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