i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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