cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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