Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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