You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
