let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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