Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
