I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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