So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
