I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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