I just saw a hot homeless man
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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