it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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