yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
