as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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