hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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