It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
