Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize