We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
