i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
