Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
a search helicopter?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
