No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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