Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
did you just send me my own nude
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
